OK, so have you ever noticed how, like, talking about money with your partner can sometimes be kind of awkward? Oh, yeah, definitely. It can be a bit of a minefield, right? Totally. So today, we are going to be taking a look at Money for Couples, this book by Remit Sethi.
Oh, yeah. I know Sethi. He's the, I will teach you to be rich guy.
Right, exactly. And this new book he wrote, it's got the super long subtitle. Let me guess something about no more stress and, like, creating a rich life together.
You got it. It's no more stress, no more fights, just a 10-step plan to create your rich life together. Catchy.
I know, right? So basically, the whole point of the book is to try and make talking about money less weird for couples. Which I think is a pretty great goal. I agree.
And it just came out this year, so it's pretty new. And it's about 320 pages long. OK, so a decent length, not too overwhelming.
Yeah, exactly. And you can find it in, like, the finance, personal finance and self-help sections of bookstores. Makes sense.
It's kind of a blend of all of those, isn't it? Totally. But OK, so I think what's really interesting is that Seppi, he's got this kind of unique background. Yeah, he's like a tech guy.
Right. But also really into financial psychology. Yeah.
And he went to Stanford. And he even has, like, a Netflix show now. Really? Wow.
OK, so he's definitely got the credentials. He does. And I think what he's trying to do with this book is, like, totally change how couples think about their finances.
Like not seeing it as this, like, scary thing that you have to avoid talking about. Exactly. His whole idea is that money shouldn't be a source of anxiety or conflict in a relationship.
Which is, like, kind of a revolutionary idea when you think about it. It is. Because, let's be real, how many times have you had, like, an argument or disagreement with your partner about money? Oh, too many to count, probably.
And you know what? I think it's because we don't talk about it enough. Yeah. And that's, like, the big takeaway from the book right off the bat, this idea of open and honest communication.
OK. But I think a lot of couples hear that and they're like, yeah, yeah, we know we should communicate. But it's like, how? That's where the book gets really interesting.
It doesn't just tell you to communicate better. It actually gives you specific strategies. Oh, really? Like what? Well, for example, Sethi actually suggests preparing, like, an outline for your money conversations.
An outline like, we're back in school. I know it sounds kind of formal, but it can actually be really helpful, especially for those initial conversations about finances. OK.
I can see how that would be helpful to sort of, like, structure the conversation to make sure you cover everything. Exactly. And he also suggests even using word-for-word scripts for those first few money talks.
Scripts like a play. Yeah. Basically, it gives you these specific phrases you can use to start the conversation on a positive note.
I guess that makes sense because sometimes just starting the conversation can be the hardest part. Totally. And the language he suggests using, it's all about being positive and constructive.
Yeah. Yeah. You know, avoiding those trigger words that can make people defensive.
Oh, yeah. Like budget or credit card bill. Those are instant fight starters.
Exactly. So it's all about framing the conversation in a way that feels safe and collaborative. Which I think is really key because when you're talking about money with your partner, it can feel very vulnerable.
Totally. And that's why the book really emphasizes this idea of taking small steps. You know, not trying to tackle everything at once.
Like not having this huge sit-down meeting and trying to solve all your financial problems in one go. Right. It's more about having these short, regular check-ins where you just talk about your finances for like 10 or 15 minutes.
Okay. So like a little bit at a time, kind of like dipping your toes in the water instead of jumping in the deep end. Exactly.
And the focus is on building a better financial future together. You know, not dwelling on past mistakes or blaming each other. Okay.
That makes a lot of sense because I think a lot of times money arguments can turn into like, well, you spent too much on this or you didn't save enough for that. Totally. So it's about shifting the focus from blame to collaboration.
I like that. And you know what else I think is interesting is that the book talks a lot about the psychology of money. Oh yeah.
That's one of the things that sets this book apart. It's not just about practical tips. It's also about understanding your own mindset around money.
Right. Because we all have these like ingrained beliefs and attitudes about money that we've picked up over the years. Uh-huh.
And Sethi calls them invisible scripts because a lot of times we're not even aware of them. Oh wow. That's a really good way to put it because they really are invisible, aren't they? They are and they can have a huge impact on how we manage our finances even if we don't realize it.
Yeah. Like if you grew up in a family where money was always tight, you might be really anxious about spending even if you're doing well financially now. Exactly.
Or if you grew up in a family where money was never discussed, you might avoid talking about it with your partner even if it's causing problems. That makes a lot of sense. And the book actually gives you ways to identify your own invisible scripts and start to rewrite them.
So you can become more aware of those subconscious beliefs and start to make more conscious choices about your money. And to help with that, he also introduces these different money types, which I thought was really fascinating. Yeah.
He talks about the avoider, the optimizer, the worrier, and the dreamer. Okay. So like which one are you? I think I'm a bit of a worrier.
What about you? Probably an optimizer. I'm always trying to find the best deal. That makes sense.
And the idea is that by understanding your own money type and your partner's order, you can start to see where potential conflicts might arise. Right. Like if one person is a worrier and the other is a dreamer, they might have very different approaches to risk and spending.
Exactly. But by recognizing those differences, they can start to communicate more effectively and find compromises that work for both of them. Okay.
That makes sense. And so it's not about trying to change each other's money type. It's about understanding and respecting those differences.
Right. And that's why the book also recommends having regular money check-ins with your partner, even if it's just for a few minutes each week. So like a little money date.
Yeah, kind of. It's a chance to just touch base and see how you're both feeling about your finances. And make sure that you're both still on the same page.
Exactly. Because if you're not communicating regularly, those small financial anxieties can build up and turn into big arguments. Like a pressure cooker.
Exactly. So it's about releasing that pressure before it explodes. Makes sense.
And you know what I really like about this book? Is that it's not just about managing money. It's about creating a rich life. Yeah.
That's a really key concept in the book. This idea that a rich life is about more than just having lots of money. Right.
It's about living a life that's aligned with your values and your goals. Exactly. And the book encourages you to think about what your ideal life would look like, and then figure out how to use your finances to make that happen.
Okay. So like if your dream is to travel the world, you need to figure out how to save and budget for that. Right.
But it's not just about big goals like that. It's also about the everyday things that bring you joy. Like what? Like maybe you love going out to eat, so you make sure to budget for that, even if it means cutting back in other areas.
Okay. So it's about being intentional with your spending and making sure that your money is actually supporting the life you want to live. Exactly.
And one of the exercises in the book that I thought was really cool is the 10-year bucket list. A bucket list for the next decade. Yeah.
Basically, you and your partner sit down and brainstorm all the things you want to do and achieve in the next 10 years. That sounds like fun. It is.
And it can be anything. You know, travel goals, career goals, personal growth goals, even just silly things you've always wanted to try. I like that.
And then what? Well, once you have your list, the book suggests picking one item and starting to plan for it right away. Oh, that's smart. Because it makes it feel more real and attainable.
Exactly. It's about taking that long-term vision and turning it into a concrete action plan. Okay.
And that ties into another concept from the book, the yes and less money dials. Right. The idea here is to identify the things you love spending money on.
Those are your yes dials. So for me, that would be books and travel. What about you? Probably food and concerts.
Okay, cool. And then you also identify your less dials, the things you don't really care about spending money on. Right.
And the goal is to spend extravagantly on your yes dials while cutting back on your less dials. I love that it's like giving yourself permission to really enjoy the things that matter to you. Exactly.
And the book even has this exercise called quadruple it, where you imagine spending four times as much on your yes dials. Whoa, that sounds intense. It is, but it's a way to really push yourself to think outside the box and see what's possible.
Okay. So like if my yes dial is travel, instead of just taking a weekend trip, maybe I could take a month long vacation. Exactly.
Or instead of just buying a plane ticket, maybe you could upgrade to first class. Now you're talking. I know, right? But of course, to be able to afford all those amazing yes dials, you have to be willing to cut back on your less dials.
Right. Because money doesn't grow on trees, unfortunately. It doesn't.
But the good news is that most of us have at least a few less dials where we're spending money without really thinking about it. Yeah, like that subscription service I never use or those clothes I bought and never wore. Exactly.
So it's about being more conscious of those spending habits and making sure they're aligned with your values. Okay. That makes sense.
And once you have a better understanding of your spending, the book then talks about getting a clear picture of your overall financial situation. Right. And it breaks it down into four key numbers.
Your assets, your investments, your savings, and your debt. Okay. That sounds pretty straightforward.
It is. And the book emphasizes that you don't need to be super precise with these numbers at first. So like a rough estimate is good enough.
Exactly. It's more about getting a general sense of where you stand financially as a couple. Okay.
And I imagine doing that together can be a good way to build trust and transparency. Absolutely. It's about being on the same page and working towards your financial goals as a team.
Makes sense. And speaking of teams, the book also talks about some unhealthy money patterns that can develop in relationships. Yeah.
Like the sitcom where couples have the same money fight over and over again. Oh, yeah. I've definitely seen that one before.
Or the chaser avoider dynamic where one person is always trying to talk about money and the other is always avoiding it. That sounds familiar too. It's pretty common and it can be really damaging to a relationship because it creates this imbalance of power.
Yeah. One person ends up feeling responsible for everything and the other person feels like they have no control. Exactly.
And that's why the book gives you strategies for recognizing these patterns and breaking free from them. Oh, that's good because I think a lot of couples get stuck in these patterns without even realizing it. They do.
And sometimes it can be helpful to get outside help from a therapist who specializes in financial issues. Yeah. That makes sense because money can be such a loaded topic emotionally.
It can. And it's often tied up with our deepest fears and insecurities. OK.
So once you've got a handle on your spending and your money patterns, the book then introduces this idea of a conscious spending plan. Right. And this is basically a way to be more intentional with your money and make sure it's aligned with your values and your goals.
OK. So it's like a budget but more thoughtful. Yeah, kind of.
But the book emphasizes that it's not about deprivation or restriction. It's about making conscious choices about how you want to spend your money. I like that.
And how does it work? Well, it's broken down into four main categories. Fixed costs, short-term savings, long-term investments, and guilt-free spending. OK.
So fixed costs would be things like rent or mortgage utilities, groceries, that kind of stuff. Exactly. And short-term savings would be for things like vacations or a down payment on a car.
And long-term investments would be for retirement or your kid's college fund. Right. And then guilt-free spending is for anything else that brings you joy, whether it's clothes, hobbies, or travel.
OK. So you're basically allocating a certain amount of your income to each of these categories. Exactly.
And the book recommends creating a 12-month view of your spending so you can anticipate upcoming expenses and plan accordingly. That's a good idea because it's easy to get caught off guard by those unexpected expenses. It is.
And the book also talks about how to tame overspending, which I think is something we can all relate to. Yeah, definitely. Especially with all the online shopping and targeted ads these days.
Totally. And the book highlights this concept of invisible spending, which are those small purchases that we don't even think about but can add up over time. Oh, yeah.
Like that daily latte or those impulse buys at the checkout counter. Exactly. And the book gives you strategies for becoming more aware of those spending habits and making more conscious choices.
OK. So like setting a spending limit for yourself or waiting 24 hours before making a purchase. Right.
And it also talks about this idea of buying back your time by outsourcing tasks that you hate or that take up a lot of your time. That's an interesting concept. So like if you hate doing laundry, you could hire laundry service.
Or if you're always stressed about cooking, you could order meal kits or get takeout more often. I like that because sometimes it's worth spending money to free up your time and energy for the things you really enjoy. Totally.
And to make all of this easier, the book strongly encourages automating your finances as much as possible. Oh, yeah. That's a game changer.
It is. It takes so much of the mental load off of managing your money. Exactly.
And the book walks you through the process of setting up automatic transfers for your savings, your investments and your bills. Right. And it also recommends using a joint credit card for shared expenses while keeping separate accounts for individual spending.
OK. That seems like a good balance of shared finances and individual freedom. It is.
And to keep everything on track, the book recommends having a monthly money meeting with your partner. Oh, yeah. I've heard of those.
Are they helpful? They can be. If you approach them the right way. The idea is to make it a positive and collaborative experience, not a stressful interrogation.
OK. So like a chance to check in, celebrate your progress and make any necessary adjustments. Exactly.
And the book also suggests having an annual rich life review where you take a bigger picture, look at your finances and your goals. So like a yearly check in to make sure you're still on track to achieve your dream life. Exactly.
And the book also touches on other important topics like managing debt and giving back to others. So it really is a comprehensive guide to creating a rich life together. It is.
And I think one of the things that makes it so successful is that it's written in a really accessible and relatable way. Yeah. Sethi's style is very down to earth and he doesn't shy away from talking about his own financial struggles.
Exactly. Which makes him seem more human and less like some kind of financial guru who's got it all figured out. Right.
And the reviews for the book have been overwhelmingly positive. Yeah. People are really loving the practical advice, the emphasis on communication and the overall positive and empowering tone.
Some people have mentioned that there's some overlap with Sethi's previous work, which makes sense since this is kind of building on his previous ideas. Right. And a few people have also said that some of the advice might be more applicable to couples with higher incomes.
Which is a fair point. But overall, I think the book offers a lot of valuable insights and strategies that can benefit couples at any income level. I agree.
And if you're looking for a way to improve your communication about money with your partner, I would definitely recommend checking it out. It's called Money for Couples by Ramit Sethi. And if you enjoyed this discussion of the book, be sure to subscribe to Book Bites and leave us a five star review.
We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.
